Birthday supper 36!

Just came home from a fabulous meal at the in-laws. Prime rib that they made to celebrate my 36 birthday! It was excellent and loads of fun as always. I feel very lucky to have an extended family that is so kind and accepting.

Friday

There are days that are great, and today is one of them! I feel very happy and lucky to be where I am in my life. I started the day today with a walk in the woods with my neighbour Gaby. I love the way she sees the world and I really like talking with her. Perfect way to start the day.

When I picked Nate up today his preschool teacher had rave reviews about his behaviour. What a great way for him to end the rocky school week...on a good note. Well done Nate. (He was so exhausted from being good that he came home and fell asleep on his floor even before he ate lunch).

Lunch today was Rangoli's with Darren. A celebration for another week complete..

I had my first volunteer session with "Children at Risk". It is a charity that works with the Autism spectrum. The time was well worth it and I got to meet some interesting people. One couple really stood out as being amazing. I would say that they are both probably in their late 70's and FULL of life. They joked around together and you could tell that they were very much in love. As I got to know about them a little more I heard that they spend lot's of time volunteering wherever they see need. Amazing couple!

The volunteer opportunity taught me more about autism. Lena was there and I learned more about her experience with her son Cameron. He is 7 years old and just learning to sign "I Love my Mom". I can't imagine the joy it must bring to Lena to see him learn that...7 years waiting for her.

One quote that stood out today about autism is "Not being able to speak is NOT the same as having nothing to say!"

After nap Nate and Grandpa had some play time at Grandpa's house. Garry was originally planning on coming over to care for Nate in the afternoon but it worked out that Darren was able to stay with him. Nate was so disappointed about missing time with Grandpa Garry that we arranged for them to have a little time together later in the day. Nate was thrilled.

I spend the Nate free time getting a little work done and decorating outside with Jade for Halloween. Fun!

Nordic Spa

Darren and I spent the evening at the Nordic Spa. One of my favourite places to be. Very relaxing! Food was incredible and the view was amazing. The moon was almost full and it was a clear bright sky. On the way home from the spa we ran out of gas in the truck. Luckily we were very close to a service station so Darren was able to fix the problem fast. Unfortunately a splash of gas spilled out of the gas container into the back of our truck. The smell was very strong so we drove home with the windows down, hoodies up and heat on. Very funny! Good times.

Victory

Life is full of small victories. Sitting up, crawling, walking...
Today Nathan added to his victory list. He took his shirt off for the first time. I know that is such a small thing but really to a parent it is a stepping stone to other victories. Nate had a huge smile on his face and said "See Mom, I did it!"
Well done my little man, I am proud of ya!

I have amazing friends!
I sent an email requesting volunteer help for an organization called "Children at Risk". My super busy neighbour Gaby replied right away and is ready to help. I am amazed by her giving attitude. What an incredible woman! I feel lucky to be her neighbour and even luckier to call her friend.

The kids

Rough day for Nate today. According to his teachers, He appears to be feeding off negative attention and he has been acting rough at school. The teachers are trying to redirect and I am crossing my finger this is just a quick stage. Nathan is a child full of energy and is often very mischievous. It is not unusual to see a twinkle in his eye and wonder what he is up to. I want to curb the rough behaviour but keep the twinkle. I love the little guy like crazy and hope that I can do a good job and raise him right.

Jade and I spent some time shopping this evening. She is growing up SO fast and faster than I think her and I both want. Her life is full of changes. Jade is a thinking, caring child. I am hoping her mind will keep working in a positive way and keep her out of trouble and harms way. My thoughts are often with her and I love her tons.

Perfect weather

What a great day! The weather was amazing! I started the day with the usual hike in the woods but even better. I was joined by a friend that I have not seen since high school. So great to catch up and learn about her life. Lena is a strong positive woman and I am glad that good old FB has given us a chance to get reacquainted.
I picked up Nate and took him to Subway (as promised). We had a quick lunch and headed out for a hike with Joy, Jacob, Steph and Cassie ( I don't think I am spelling that right, sorry). The kids had fun. The boys were full off energy but that seemed to sizzle out of them by the end of the walk. Cassie was her gorgeous, cute self. She watched the boys with interest and probably a little caution. Crazy boys!
It was good to see Steph and catch up as well. We live so close to each other but the days fly by and we don't always connect.
When Jade returned home from school and Darren was finished work, we headed into the ravine for the third walk of the day. Fabulous! I am feeling tired now from all the fresh air but wow, I loved every minute of it. I am feeling very lucky that we have such a beautiful nature area so close by.

I went to Jade's 2nd game of the basketball season today. Awesome to watch how much she has improved from last year. It was a great game and lot's of fun. Well done Ms.Jade. I am proud of ya.

I went for a walk with the boys this morning. Darren, Nathan, Bear and I strolled through the woods. I can breath deeper in the trees, it has a way of washing any frustration out of me and I really enjoyed my time. Nate is so little that he still needs help walking up and down the steep hills. I love the feeling of his little hand in mine.

Missing Pieces

I know two families that have been touched with autism but I don't understand much about the disease. In the last couple of months I have been thinking more about it and how it must be for a parent to have a child that cannot communicate. I have heard parents speak about it saying they know their son is in his body but they don't know how to get him out. The child is trapped. Unbelievable and heart breaking. Today I received a video clip from one of my friends that has an autistic son. The video moved me to tears and woke me up. Approximately 1 in every 150 kids has this and the numbers have been growing. Wow....I plan to learn more so that I can understand better and I plan to contribute to the cause. I started today by making a contribution and I have joined a group that will keep me up to speed on what is going on with the disease.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhScvPYXunc&eurl=http://widget-13.slide.com/widgets/sf.swf

Rate of Autism
Twenty years ago... 1 in 10 000
Five years ago... 1 in 500
Today.... 1 in 150
Twenty years from now...... Scared yet?!?!?!

Caught!

We have a comfy reading chair in our room. In the night Bear often jumps up and has a good snore. He usually is smart enough to get down before we wake up because we do have a no dogs on the furniture policy. This morning he did not get down in time. When I took this picture he was awake but it looks like he is closing eyes hoping that I won't see him. "Maybe if I close my eyes she won't spot me".

I brought the camera with me on the run in the ravine this morning. I had to loop back and re run a section of the trail because I got so distracted taking pictures and enjoying the woods.

Rupi's 40th

Spend some time on the weekend with good friends celebrating Rupi's 40th. Good food, good champagne, good chocolate...good laughs. We stayed Friday night at a hotel downtown and Roberta and I had a great laugh trying to get the luggage into the hotel. We got the cart stuck between two doors and could not stop laughing. One of the desk staff came to our rescue. Very funny but one of those "You had to be there" moments.

Rainy beautiful day!

Rainy beautiful day!

Bear and I went for a walk in the woods. The trees act like an umbrella so we stayed fairly dry. I love this time of year when the temperature is a little cooler and the leaves are in full colour. That is one of the great things about having a dog in your life...if Bear did not need a walk, I probably would stay home and miss the beauty of the rain.

Days like today make me think of Cliff. When I look at his pictures I see rain, mist, snow...all beautiful. Cliff has taught me to look at nature in a whole different way. What a great gift.

(Picture above is one of Cliff's)

Shannon and Mike

On Friday we made the trip to North Bay for Shannon and Mike's wedding. We had a fabulous time. Darren has a great family and they are loads of fun! Uncle Richard was there and played the guitar for the kids. Nate really loves that. It was a very musical weekend with lot's of laughs.

Big congrads to Shannon and Mike. They are great couple and I predict they will have many, many great years together.

My brave little man

Today Nathan had to have an ultrasound of his testicles. I think that must rate as the worst for a three year old and pretty difficult for a parent to watch.

When we were called into the room the technician introduced himself and asked Nathan how he was doing. His response was "My Mom's gotta tattoo!".

As soon as the door closed on the room his bottom lip started to tremble and the tears came. He did an excellent job of listening to the technician and the procedure was completed with out any delays. The technician was fantastic and so good with Nathan. He made him as comfortable as possible. Very well handled for an uncomfortable situation.

Parenting.

I am learning to be a good parent.

Everyday is a challenge.

Every day new joys.

The last couple of months have been a wild ride especially with little Nathan. There are days when I am tired, foul and feel like I have failed. Other days I remember something bright about the day and I go to bed with a smile anticipating the next day.

What I want to create:
I want to be a parent that is in tune to her children and available for them.

I want to be a positive force in their lives and create a home that is a safe place for them to enter.

I want to create dialogue that encourages them to share.

I want to parent with Darren as a strong team that is healthy physically and emotionally.

I need to escape my own childhood good and bad and create a new legacy.

"When you know better, you do better".

The magic moment ends at age 10.

The truth shall set you free...how come I am feeling sad?

Today my ten year old daughter asked me for the truth about Santa. I gave my usual reply that "I do believe in the magic of Christmas". This time, that did not cut it. Jade point blank asked for the truth and if Santa is me. I caved and told the truth. I wonder if this will be a day that she remembers for a long time?

The day the magic ended.